Subject: just let me keep my hair!
Date: Monday, April 8, 2013, 10:32 AM
I made about a million cappucinnoss at the Olive Garden while running a full bar
this is just about when capps hit the mianstream media, the early days of "sex in the city" and once one CAPP went out to a table, others followed
Im quick efficient and clean and the only things that happens when i get super busy is i may start to sing a little song.
i eat weeds for breakfast and laugh my way thru the days
im not some entitled skinny black jean wearing "barista" who is doing you a favor...
im the guy living life on his own terms which means i have a fabulous pony tail and can't stop smiling because, like SINATRA, Im doing it my way
i do open mikes and poetry readings and even a little standup comedy
im working on some bits of writing and could esily be persuaded to both run a few poetry things at the coffee shop, or start a series of readings with a cool name and you can probably persuade me to throw together some sort of edgy blog that glamorizes your expensive coffee offerings and gourmet vegan sandwiches
i trained bartenders for TGIF but hate being around alcoholics all day, so im trying not to do that
i taught school for a while but was overwhelmed by waves of apathy
do you really want a resume for a coffee shop job?
the tight confines behind the bar at tgif developed a dancers mentality in me at work
im the most nimble an light-footed neanderthal you have ever seen
i am a capable vegetarian chef, everyone raves about my concoctions
i have a knack for food textures and what will and won't work together from years of trial and errror and also due to being a sous chef at a french restaurant in high school to making and delivering all the hoagies in college
hiring me will expand your menu because when i feed myself, people will say, jeez, whats that? I WANT WHAT THE NEANDERTHAL IS EATING
and they will order my creation....
im a little leery of sending you a resume, because every time i send out a resume i never get the job...
google it, you will see it's a real condition, or just go to sendaresumeaphobia.blogspot.
Well, this was a productive email... i hope to hear back from you about the many issues I've raised in this thoughtful and enlightening email.
at the very least I found a great blog to learn alot more about the world at. and you know alot more about me, my condition and that its illegal to discriminate against me in the hiring practices because of my condition...
my sendaresumeaphobia is a very acute form, and even though "cute" is in the word, it's not a cute thing AT ALL!
ill send you the answers to your many questions about my travels in my next email. i just got back from the land of the redwoods. heres a picture of me kissing a donkey at jackass junction by the Arizona/Cali border...im on the right....