Theoretically a resume like mine piques potential employerers interests.
I get a few phone calls a week,  if I really spam the world
But that's depressing,
So  I pick one or two jobs a day that get my juices going

and have at it!
They keep asking me "why do you want to work here?"
, which stumps me because I'm all about honesty
everyone who knows me knows i am perhaps TOO honest, too full of integrity
"Money" was not the right answer,
I guess
 when the GM lady at the fancy bar asked me why???
"Why do you want to work here?"

I was supposed to talk about a passion for excellence?
or something?
So I'm supposed to FAKE some sick compulsion to sell the perfect hambuger?

Or manufacture a fictional goal "to work at THE FINEST gastro-pub in the city?"

To make rich peoples hungry tummies go bye bye?
To ensure that i am exceeding the needs of my well-heeled clientele, silently and effortlessly anticipating their every need and whim and making delightful suggestions when called upon?
I can be ready for that question next time
 because it stumped me at the last interview too....

at the other end of the ROY G BIV
when the RED ROBIN guy shit all over me

they seem a little like a cult anyway
 he seemed to really enjoy it
a little bit too much i think
shitting on my TGIFridays experiences, the people who invented these pop-culture covered walls that you shamelessy steal, the bar in the middle of the place, alcoholics on stage.....

so i will enjoy it when I go there for lunch or dinner and shit all over him
when its busy
at xmas
when they are in the weeds and need real workers
me and my team of make bartenders cry
now hiring
are u truly evil?
does christmas make you malicious?
join our team of reality correctionists
creating great bartenders, one complaint at a time
like hackers get hired to stop breaking into databases
we will get hired to stop harrassing bartenders
hired to catch them messing up and correct it as it happens
hack your bar

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