JOB SEARCH: THEORY AND PRACTICE

Theoretically a resume like mine piques potential employerers interests.

I get a few phone calls a week,  if I really spam the world

But that's depressing,

So  I pick one or two jobs a day that get my juices going

and have at it!

CHALLENGES MOVING FORWARD

They keep asking me "why do you want to work here?"

, which stumps me because I'm all about honesty

everyone who knows me knows i am perhaps TOO honest, too full of integrity

"Money" was not the right answer,
I guess

 when the GM lady at the fancy bar asked me why???
"Why do you want to work here?"

I was supposed to talk about a passion for excellence?

or something?

So I'm supposed to FAKE some sick compulsion to sell the perfect hambuger?

Or manufacture a fictional goal "to work at THE FINEST gastro-pub in the city?"

To make rich peoples hungry tummies go bye bye?
To ensure that i am exceeding the needs of my well-heeled clientele, silently and effortlessly anticipating their every need and whim and making delightful suggestions when called upon?

I can be ready for that question next time

 because it stumped me at the last interview too....

at the other end of the ROY G BIV

when the RED ROBIN guy shit all over me

they seem a little like a cult anyway
 he seemed to really enjoy it
a little bit too much i think
shitting on my TGIFridays experiences, the people who invented these pop-culture covered walls that you shamelessy steal, the bar in the middle of the place, alcoholics on stage.....

so i will enjoy it when I go there for lunch or dinner and shit all over him

when its busy

at xmas

when they are in the weeds and need real workers

me and my team of make bartenders cry
terrorists

now hiring

are u truly evil?

does christmas make you malicious?

join our team of reality correctionists

creating great bartenders, one complaint at a time

like hackers get hired to stop breaking into databases

we will get hired to stop harrassing bartenders

hired to catch them messing up and correct it as it happens

call

BAR-TESTERS  DOT COM

hack your bar